Hello World Version 2

Oh hello there! I’ve decided to come crawling back. In other words, I’ve exhausted all avenues of social media creeping and I need something else to do while jamming this new kid full of milk.

Speaking of new kid, isn’t she sweet?



You know what else was sweet? How she decided to follow big sister’s footsteps and eject herself into the world at the speed of a Busta Rhymes verse.


Let me paint the picture. Like everyone else that Monday evening, we had settled down to watch a relaxing hour of the classic TV show, Teen Mom OG. Scott was nursing a very recently broken toe and I was nursing a bag of JalapeƱo Popper Ruffles (clearly a staple food). I was also nursing some disappointment, as I had bet that Madeline would be born that day and yet she was still on the inside, like a typical underachieving second child (right Scott?).


Considerate like always, I waited until the credits at 11 pm to tell Scott about the two very mild contractions I thought I had experienced. I got busy texting my mom, who would be coming over to watch the big sister, and Scott paged our midwife team. Looking back, these texts seem to be missing a sense of…urgency….




Our student midwife called back almost immediately to assess me over the phone. Based on my history, she decided to come over right away. I decided to take a shower to help out with the contractions and Scott decided to set up our bedroom for our planned home birth.


Good thing Scott moved quickly because that shower did not last long. By the time I got out my contractions were both close enough and strong enough to have me examining the intricacy of the weave on our bedroom throw rug. In order to save said rug from certain permanent damage, I moved onto the bed.


At this point, my mom had arrived and was on midwife watch outside. Incidentally, Madeline was already peaking out so Scott went 2 for 2 and placed a call to 911. Luckily, Scott is unofficially the best male midwife in Ontario, so Maddie’s head popped out in a gush of water into good hands. At this point my first midwife had arrived and helped deliver the rest of Mads, who thanked her by getting as much vernix as possible over the poor woman’s winter coat. I hope OHIP covers dry cleaning bills.


And that was that! Madeline arrived at 11:51 pm, 9 minutes before her due date (and 44 minutes after we paged the midwives), which she obviously planned in order to one up her very punctual sister. Sibling rivalry starts from birth I guess.